eBay My World: mr.used( 43)

Up there~that's Mrs.Used. I am a serious eBayer. I sell through other accounts, but I now buy just through this one. When I pay fast,go & leave me the feedback, ship it out & email me w/ shipping info & track data. Instant gratification is too slow.

Things that Mrs. Used finds and says : What ever were you going to do with that? Why don't you throw it out?.... So I sez: You gotta be nuts, this is really cool stuff... I have been threatening to sell her cat Molly on eBay, because my cat (Catzilla) has been trying to eat her ever since they met. When Molly disappears in a closet, we check Catzilla's belly for any lumps.

Bright shiny objects, usually with serial numbers. I would buy guns, but eBay has all these stupid rules. Ammo and Whiskey- same problem. It's Like the ATF, all the good stuff~ alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. Who's got the chips and dip? Party!

Dust, scrap Lexan, U-235, old Toyota Camrys, peat moss, used nails, repossessed coffins, vestal virgins (boy those are hard to find), WW2 Submarines (prefer German and operational or with all the parts), small furry rodents, shrunken heads, totem poles, and peanut butter jars (they're great for putting my nuts in) after my wife hands them to me. Mostly standard but some metric nuts.

Welcome to America! Now speak English.

Yellow Pages- not much of a plot, but what a cast of characters!

Dr. Strangelove, African Queen, Escanaba in the Moonlight, Blues Brothers

Nip Tuck, Nova, Frontline, Mad Men, Sons of Anarchy, Rescue Me, PeeWee's Playhouse, Desperate Housewives, Mass for Shut-ins, and the Weather Channel when they have those hotties doing the weather, I like those tense looking female critters they have on FOX. Just something about a smokin' hot Republican all trussed-up in Victoria Secrets rigging. Yowzah!

Loose cars, fast beer and cold women. Something like that. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens; Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens; Brown paper packages tied up with strings; These are a few of my favorite things.

Cat Wrangler for the TV/Movie industry. I use catnip and tuna, not necessarily in that order. Hairball aversion therapy. Very humane.

I prefer PayPal. Will gold bars do? We have some lovely Tabby cats this week- pets or meat!

Make it fast, thanks.

Pork ribs. Cold smoked. A man of color taught me all I could understand about cooking them what with me being really really very white and all.

Chicken. Keeripes.... I think I am growing feathers. How do you think they get those Sams Club roasters so big? Is there radiation involved? Mutant DNA? What?